Ali Handal: Music & Video

• MP3 short clip, hi-fi play (broadband)
• MP3 short clip, lo-fi play (modem)

Takin’ off, moving on
I played hot and cold too long
I couldn’t lay my fears aside
so I forfeited the game

Will I always stay the same?
Will I always be this way?
Someday I will not be afraid
Someday I will not walk away
Someday I will not break the chain
and I’ll love another man…
in your name

Turnin’ off, driftin’ on
Heartbroke, headstrong
My last mistake left you behind
but I won’t forget your name
Will I always stay the same?

Will I always be this way?
No, no
Someday I will not be afraid
Someday I will not walk away
Someday I will not break the chain
and I’ll love another man…
in your name
Someday I will not be afraid

Someday I will not walk away
Someday I will not break the chain
and I’ll love another man…
in your name

STORY BEHIND THE SONG:
“This is another song I wrote after being inspired by Ilene Bergelson’s poetry. I didn’t directly use as many of Ilene’s words as I did in Convince Me, but it was a springboard for me to explore how I would contribute to the eventual demise of my relationship at the time (ah, prophecy...).

Again, phrases from the poem that I used for inspiration are in red:

LIFE IS A SELF-SERVE STATION (NO MORE HEROES)

Drifting off. Drifting on.
Eyes open
Heart beating
strong.
No more thinking--my head is full
I can’t get out from under my mind.

If I take away all the noise
it only sounds the same
And all I get is nowhere
Does my hero have a name?

Nope.
“It doesn’t work that way, they say.
Nope.
“Only you can save your day,” they say.

Well thanks a bunch, but I’m out to lunch
and I won’t be coming back in time to save me
So if you leave myself to me, I’ll just have to wait
until I’m good and ready

No more heroes.

Mind racing. Heart pounding.
Where’s the sign
from my soul?
light

Instinct on, instinct off.
This part I
can’t control

If I sat real still in silence does it mean the answers came?
And if I said that I’m forgiven does it mean I broke the chain?

Nope.
“It doesn’t work that way, they say.
Nope.
“Only you can save your day,” they say.

Hey all right, I’ll get it straight--
My life, you know.
All by myself.
If you must know, I know my life like noone else
So you can go

Hey
No more heroes

Nope.

Written by Ilene Bergelson, 1998